Again

So here it is, another month. I'm hoping to see some results on the scale, in my clothing, and everywhere in between.

I'm hoping for some news on the thyroid front. I'm glad that I have an answer as to why I've been super exhausted, and not losing weight no matter the effort put forth.

I hope the the matter gets resolved soon, because lately I've felt like a sub par mother and wife. I'm just too tired all day, that I'm not playing with Annaleese like I should be, and I'm probably not paying as much attention to Scott as I should.

Hoping that the light at the end of the tunnel emerges sooner, rather than later.

Hello Sunshine....

Well I have a kind of answer to my diet/exercise frustration. My blood work came back and showed two things, one I suspected and the other was news to me. I am borderline or mildly hypothyroid. Meaning that my thyroid gland is not producing enough hormone needed to regulate my metabolism among other things. So for now I get to wait it out for two weeks and have blood retested. If the same result occurs or the numbers are lower then I will most likely have to consider taking medication (likely for life) to correct the imbalance. The blood work also revealed that I am vitamin D deficeint. My levels are well below the normal low range. So for the next 8 weeks I get to take a perscription vitamin D supplement then an over the counter one to regulate that. Also, I need to get some more sun- which is really not my favorite thing to do.

I guess I will continue to exercise and eat right and hope that with,or without medication my body corrects it's self and I can start seeing the results of my efforts. I knew something was off.

Frustration

Lately I've found my self in a slump when it comes to my appearance. I cringe when I see my post baby body in the mirror. So I set out to do something about it. I started eating smarter and healthier, and added exercise to the mix. For the first two weeks I was strict about no junk food. No candy, cookies, chocolate, Starbucks mocha's, and no FAST FOOD. I did pretty well. I realized quickly that depriving my self of the things I do enjoy is a recipe for disaster. So I started to allow my self some room for treats. I've found that stress is a trigger for me. I downloaded a food journal to my phone, and track what I eat for each meal or snack. This helps keep me on track for my daily calorie, fat, carbs, sugar, and protein intake for the day. It's a great tool. Most days I'm right where I should be. 

So why have I only dropped less than a pound in almost 1 month? I am beyond frustrated. I understand that it took 9+ months to gain the weight. I understand it will take time to drop it too. I've been there, done that. 

Today I saw my doctor. I explained what I've been doing, and what's been going on. Besides not having very much success in the weight loss department, I've just felt as though I'm not bouncing back like I should be. I'm pretty much always exhausted, even though I'm getting a good amount of sleep. Peyton has been sleeping better for the last 6 weeks, yet I feel more wiped out then I did when we first brought her home. After explaining this, and other symptoms to my doctor, we decided I should get my thyroid checked out. Tomorrow I go in for blood work, and hopefully I have an answer for the super slow weight loss, fatigue and other issues. If it's not my thyroid then I guess we'll be discussing what else can be done to show results.

Even though I'm not seeing the results I want on the scale or my clothes, I still continue to exercise and eat better.

Getting Fit...

So since Peyton was born I knew it was time to change the eating habbits, and exercise, but kept saying " Next week", then it was " After Thanksgiving", then "After the Holidays". It's hard to do these things, simple as they are. when you are so tired you only leave the house to grocery shop, or put of making dinner/lunch because picking up take out is so much easier.


I couldn't avoid my reflection in the mirror anymore. Everytime I looked, I hated what I saw. I know I just had a baby- not so recently- I know it takes time for your body to bounce back. As true as that is, I also knew that it wouldn't bounce back any time soon if I didn't start helping the process.

So January 1, I started tracking what I eat with the myfitnesspal app. Gave up, fast food, and Starbucks-which has been my fuel. I feel better. I can already feel a difference, I had Pizza at a birthday party the other day and regretted it. Not for the fact it probably took up most of my calorie allotment for the day but for the fact that I felt terrible after. I felt bloated from the salt and grease. Funny how just a few days of eating better can make that much of an impact on your body.

Sunday I decided to print a free pass to 24hour fitness. I went with Cortney. She worked me out pretty good. I will admit I flat out refused to do some of the exercises she showed me. I'm just not fit enough to do them. I've gone for 2 days now. And feel good. I'm thinking of joining. But not sure yet. I have to take the girls with me and see how they do in the day care. That's kind of a deal breaker.

I've lost about 2.8 pounds! I think I actually lost more than that. My scale at home isn't the most reliable.

New Year, New Goals

This year I have decided to set a few easy to achieve goals for my self.

1. Be more aware of what and how much I eat. Try to eat healthier snacks.
2. Get out of my maternity PANTS! It really is time. I've put it off. I just don't want to buy new pants in a bigger size than I was. Vanity wins this one.
3. Change up the dinner menu. This coincides with #1. I cook the same stuff all the time, and If I'm bored with I, Scott ( who is not as picky as I am) probably is too.
4. Craft more. I have more scrap book stuff then I know what to do with. Time to put it to use, Plus I got a sewing machine for Christmas.
5. Be a better "ME".

???

Just not sure what to title this entry. To sum it up my feelings are all over the place right now. I've been worrying a little to my self the last couple days. Mostly about the upcoming changes in my life, our lives I should say. There's so much to do, and only a few months , or less to get it all done, I guess I feel a little overwhelmed.

Annaleese needs to get the potty training thing down.

The nursery needs some work before I/we can even start decorating and organizing. All the stuff that's currently in the room needs to be moved, which means I have to get creative in finding new places for it.

I've found my self, worrying and even dreaming about how Annaleese is going to receive and handle the change that is going to take place once "Baby Sister" arrives. I worry how she will feel. Will she be jealous. Will she act out even more than she has been. Will she feel included. Will she like having a baby sister. Or will she be completely easy going about the whole thing, and really not care. I'm probably stressing out about this for no reason, but still I cab't help but wonder.

With the terrible back pain I've been experiencing and how much worse it is in the pregnancy than it was in the first, I find my self wondering if or how much worse it can get, and what does that mean for the labor process? I had back labor with Annaleese, which was NOT FUN and very painful. Could it happen again and be more painful?

Sometimes I wonder if the back pain is going to limit me further from getting the most basic and easy house chores done, or looking after Annaleese. I try to take it as easy as I can as it is, as far as the household chores go, I try even harder not to lift Annaleese, but getting her in and out of the car makes that hard. It makes it harder for me to let her be a little more independant. She likes to walk instead of being put in the stroller or shopping cart, but I just dont't have the strength or energy to chase after her.

What bothers me the most is that I feel like I am constantly complaining about how crappy my body feels and that I have little energy even on a good day. And I'm not even in the third trimester, which is probably the most awkward part of pregnancy. Nothing like a huge stomach to make you so uncomfortable you can't sleep add to that the summer heat, it's a fabulous mix. On the upside I'm halfway there.

Purging

I LOVE getting rid of junk. I don't know what it is. I just love to clean house and end up with a bag full of stuff to donate, recycle or trash. I just really hate clutter. It's no wonder I don't have many things. I've given up collecting things because it just takes up space. I cleaning Annaleese's room and went through her toy box and ended up with a small bag of useless toys to get rid of. Got rid of old phone books- I know who needs those any more?But Scott likes to have one or two around, despite my hatred for them. We live in a digital world with internet on our phones - join the revolution and look it up there. Anyway there was really no point to this. Just that I love getting rid of useless items. I'm gonna have more soon because I'll be prepping the back room for the new little one.