Santa Made me Cry

I'll explain the title in a bit, but until then answer me this : Is it just me or do the holidays make you super emotional?

For a long time now, December has marked the onset of Holiday Depression for me. It turns me into a weepy, emotional, scrooge. Don't get me wrong, I love the Holidays. I love the lights, the decorations, the celebrations, the food, the spirit, abd the joyfulness it brings. I feel like the older I get, the harder it is to find the magic that Christmas held when I was a kid.

Now, as an adult I understand all the responsibilites that go in to creating that "Christmas Cheer", and all to often it comes down to money. Now, I know that Christmas really isn't supposed to be about the gifts. I understand that it's a time of the year that draws family and friends close together.I also know it to be the season of giving. And so starts the stress of wondering how to provide the perfect Christmas with what is available to you.

I'm sure I'm not alone on that feeling.

December makes me want to cry, sometimes for know reason at all. Sometimes because the season reminds me of those who are not here to celebrate with us any longer.

Sunday, my family went to cut down our Christmas trees. I look forward to this every year, I love doing it. We headed to my parents to make pizza's after the cut down, and while the guys were trying to put lights on the tree, mom and I ran to wal mart to get a new strand of lights. drivng there we got stuck behind this thing driving, what had to be, 10 mph. We soon realized it was a Christmas Float, with Santa aboard. When we got to the turning lane the float was right beside us, Santa looked at me, and waved. I looked at my mom and said " I miss Papa", and started to cry.

A new day

Well here it is, another post about losing weight. It's not a big secret that I gained about 10 pounds since my daughter's first birthday, but today I realized, while stuffing myself into pants that used to fit loosely, that I need to get back on track. I can't remember the last time I've gotten up in the morning, packed up the baby and went for a walk or jog.

So tomorrow, that will change. Exercise and eating better will again become priority.

2 Year's Married!

It's crazy to think it's been two years since we walked down the aisle and said our "I Dos", exchanged rings, danced and celebrated with our family and friends. Happy memories. I can't believe how the time has passed so quickly, on the other hand, some days it feels like it's been longer than just two years. Maybe it's because we've been together for five years.

To celebrate the occasion we opted to stay in, have dinner, take a dip in the spa, and just be together.

To make the night a little more special, I decided to make a very nice dinner. I was in the kitchen for the better part of the day, whipping out what turned out to be the best dinner I've had in a while.

The menu consisted of "Green Mozzarella" - an appitizer made with slices of bread, mozzarella, and pesto. Cheesy Mashed potatoes, asparagus drizzled with EVOO and garlic, balsamic glazed steak, and a blue cheese wedge salad.

We didn't get a chance to enjoy the cheesecake I made, it hadn't set up completely, and I think we were just too full.

I'm proud of my self because I made everything from scratch, using receipes from Emril, Alton brown, a few phone calls to mom for general questions, and my own ideas. It was fantastic.

I don't know that I could do that on a daily basis, maybe something a little less involved, but I'm willing to try.

Family Photo

I don't think words could accurately discribe the feeling I got when I saw the framed family photo of Scott, Annaleese and I. I felt a huge smile spread accross my face, my heart raced a little bit, and all I could think was that " I have my very own family photo!"

There's just something about seeing the three of us together in that picture that makes me so unbelievibly happy! I don't think anything else could have made this day any better.

Check them all out here :

http://picasaweb.google.com/tara.alarid/FamilyPhotos#

Oh what a night!!!!

Okay, first I have to tell you that I don't normally drink. My friends Norma and Serena wanted to take me out for a night, to be with girls and have a night away from mom duties. I have to say that I was a little leery about going out, because I'm not a fan of bars and don't consider my self much of a drinker. But I went with an open mind, and decided that I should just go with the flow. Norma and Serena decided that San Juan Batista was the best place to go, and figured the chances of running into some one we knew were slim to none. She just had to say it too. No sooner did I open the car door to find an acquaintance in front of me, litterally. Crazy.

We ate, then went to the Mom and Pops Saloon. It was where the fun was born. We ordered our drinks, and a shot, and well it continued like that for the remainder of the night. The bar wasn't too crowded, had lots of locals, and an older crowd. But I think the best part was karaoke. Yes, I did sing. Three times. I sang Baby Got Back with Serena, and then two other songs on my own. I'd hate to toot my own horn, but I owned that place! I got a lot of compliments. First time I've sung in front of strangers in YEARS.

We danced a little, and then went home, and that's where it got interesting. We'll leave it at that.

the night was EPIC! Thanks girls! Thanks babe for staying home for the night, and thanks for the MCDonalds the next morning!

YAY!!!

I'm so excited that Jess called today to say she's coming to Annaleese's 1st birthday!!

This is for You

This is for you Jess.

I'm hungry!

D and Alana Tied the KNOT!!

The Wedding was fantastic, and for the first time since i was 9 i was part of a wedding party. It was interesting to be part of the wedding, and not be the bride or a guest.

The whole day went by so quick. It felt as though we had just woke up and then it was already time for the ceremony.

Alana's brother Officiated the ceremony, it was witty and sweet, and they only had one! LOL

John gave a nice toast as the best man, Pam ( the moh and sister of the bride) made it through hers without crying, Sandra choked up during hers. And Scott gave a very nice speach, letting everyone know that he's grateful to Derek because he's responsible for introducing he and I. And so grateful for all the things he's recieved in life because of that introduction.

All the girls looked so beautiful! and the guys were pretty handsome too!

Alana's grandma caught the bouquet, and Camo- Derek's 9 year old nephew caught the garter. He quickly tried to hand it off to his dad...but it didn't work.

it was a fun time!

Fight like a girl

So here's the chorus to a new song I heard on the radio (yes, the radio- I don't always have my iPod plugged in), it's called Fight Like a Girl... it's a pretty good song, the end is sad ( i actually tear up a little)

Hold your head high.
Don't ever let 'em define
The light in your eyes.
Love yourself, give them Hell.
You can take on this world.
You just stand and be strong
And then
fight like a girl.

What's in a song

The wonderful thing about music is that it caters to your mood. There is a song for every event and emotion. What's great is that most of them can be interpreted to mean what ever you need it to mean. My husband and I have OUR SONG - Broken Road, everytime I hear it my heart smiles. I immediately think of him and a barage or memories flood my brain. I can see in my mind the first time we met, the first time we went on a date, the night he first kissed me, the time he cooked me dinner and met me at the door with flowers and danced with me in the living room, I see our first dance as husband and wife.

Broken Road:

I set out on a narrow way many years ago

Hoping I would find true love along the broken road

But I got lost a time or two

Wiped my brow and kept pushing through

I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you

Every long lost dream led me to where you are

Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars

Pointing me on my way into your loving arms

This much I know is trueThat God blessed the broken road

That led me straight to you

I think about the years I spent just passing through

I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you

But you just smile and take my hand

You've been there you understand

It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true

Every long lost dream led me to where you are

Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars

Pointing me on my way into your loving arms

This much I know is trueThat God blessed the broken road

That led me straight to you

Now I'm just rolling homeInto my lover's arms

This much I know is trueThat God blessed the broken road

That led me straight to you

That God blessed the broken road

That led me straight to you

It's FRICKEN AFRICA HOT!!!!!!

I haven't been exercising in over a week! Mostly due to the fact that I was recovering from food poisioning last week, and then all of the sudden it got super hot. I hate it. I kind of miss running, but I'm not dumb enough to do it in the heat!

The baby has been completely irritable too! She's either whinning or cranky, because she's tired. It's too hot for her to get a decent nap in. Really, in a house with no AC it just feels like everything is a pain in the ass. I grew up in houses with out AC, I'd like to think I can tolerate it pretty well, but I guess everyone has their breaking point.

Annaleese and I have caught some relief from the heat by taking a swim, but I can't keep her in the pool for long periods of time, so the relief is short lived.

Allright, I guess I'm through venting.

just a little something.

It's been a while since I've written anything. So here goes. The last week has been trying. Good and bad things have come to light, mom and dad moved out, Cortney graduated Highschool, and my best friend came for a visit.

I'll expand a little on the things I care to mention.

After sharing our home with my parents for the last month, they decided it was time to go live in their trailer, while they wait out the escrow of the house they just got. Their plan is to stay in there while they get the house up to par. Tend to any small repairs it might need, and some painting and other odds and ends.

It was nice to have their company. Mom helped me prepare dinner most nights. And helped out with all the cleaning and what not. Dad helped Scott and Joe install our windows, and scrape the cieling in the living room. Mom helped me paint in the living room. It was good to have help getting small and big improvemtns made to the house.

My little sister graduated on June 10th! 6 years and 1 day after I did. I really can't believe it's been that long, I don't feel old, but it definately puts things in to perspective. She was accepted into San Jose State to study Forensic Science. I am so proud of her and all of her accomplishments.

Jessica came to visit. It was nice to see her, and talk to her one on one. We had discussed going out to do something before she got her, but we ended up just sitting at my house, going to lunch and just talking. It was nice. I really do/have missed her.

Other than that I've just been going through some personal stuff.

In the last four weeks I've lost 8 pounds! That makes a total of 35 since Annaleese was born.

Whew...what a weekend.

Well this past weekend had, Mom, Dad, Joe, Scott and I working pretty hard. Scott, Dad, and Joe, tore out the old windows and installed the new ones! The whole process took 2 days! Now we have to start the second phase, of putting in the new window casings for the interiors, basically we have no window seals and the studs are exposed. I'll get some before and after pictures soon. The second phase will also include getting the front and back stucco replaced, and painted. To match the house.

Saturday, Mom and I started painting the front room. We got three of the four walls done, we are waiting on the TV wall to be retextured before we can do it.

There is still a ton of dust and some glass around the house. I'm working on it little by little, but I'm out of pledge! LOL

Enjoy the pictures!

http://picasaweb.google.com/tara.alarid/Windows#

Moving on... Good Bye House.

I said GOODBYE to my parents house yesterday. There was a ton of good times that we shared in that home. We moved in just before I gradutated highschool. We celebrated big family Christmas Dinners, pool parties, Mom's 40th birthday Luau, Cortney's first High School formal, Scott proposal to me, we had our Wedding Rehearsal Dinner there, my Baby Shower for Annaleese, and so much more.

The summer after highschool graduation Jessica, Matt and I lived in that pool.We swam for hours. I put off looking for a job so long during that summer. We would play endless games of uno. Jess and I baked cookies and took them to Matt at Golfland.

I brought Scott home for the first time to meet my parents.

I'm sure the house my parents move into next will have many great memories too, especially because Annaleese has so many memories waiting to be created.

Some Success!

Well I had to share with someone. In the last two weeks, I have lost 3.5 pounds, and about an inch around the bust, waist, hips and theighs!!!!! Last week I started going for walks, I did it for 4 days during the week, and plan on increasing that to between 5 and 6. I have some exercise videos and equipment at home I should start using. I believe I am making progress. I'll be super excited when my current jeans are too loose to wear at all, and I can shimming back in to the size i was wearing before Annaleese was thought of.

Small goals are easier to achieve!

The office is...

I don't know what possessed me this morning, but whatever it was resulted in a cleaner more orginized choas in the office. Sadly the office is the only room in the house that hasn't been completely unpacked. It's Scott's room to do with what he wants, as far as decorating and what not. But I guess I got a little tired of the clutter of boxes in the room. So I opened a couple of the boxes and realized that most of them had been gone through, to get whatever it was we needed at the time. So there were 3 half empty boxes. One was full of bridal magazines... lol. So I condensed the boxes down to one. There are still a few other boxes, full of glass ware from Scott's bar. I'll leave that be. But all the boxes are neatly stacked against a wall and out of the way. Now the room looks clean with the door open.

Well I'm gonna go get ready for a walk. It's supposed to rain tomorrow, else I would for go the walk in order to stay in this cleaning mood. I have the kitchen to tackle now...oh and maybe the dreadful laundry.

(Sush...don't tell Scott but I hung a couple of his pictures...he's free to move them where ever, but now the walls aren't totally naked.)

Well, I'm beat!

I started off the day tired, which is why I'm feeling less than energetic now. I needed some stamps- so I could pay the bills- always fun. So after Annaleese and I had our breakfast, we packed up and took a walk to Safeway. It was a nice outting, it was warm out but not hot and took about an hour. It was nice.

When she went down for a nap I went outside and started cleaning up the weeds. Again it wasn't hot out, but hard work under the sun makes it feel hott! And I think the sun drained me! I feel accomplished, and happy that I finally worked in some well needed exercise also.

There's always TOMORROW...

There's always tomorrow, seems to be a familar phrase to me these days. I find my self saying it, in my head, each day I don't seem to fit in any type of exercise. Sigh. So tomorrow it is! I am going to use the first of two guest passes of Scott's to go to the gym. It's two weeks worth. I'm hoping this will give me the jump start I need to start fitting more exercise in my day, and start living up to the committment I made to my self two posts ago.

Easter

I spent Easter at my Gandmother's home in Rio Vista, with my parents, Scott, Annaleese, Uncle Keith, Lara, and Joesph. Cortney had to work, so she couldn't join us. Dinner was good, as usual. But the best part was digging through a box of Nana's old photos. It's always fun to see your parents when they were kids, and I must say the photo of my dad as a little boy dressed up with a cape and mask he got after being bitten ( on the face) by a dog was heart warming. But I fell in love with a picture of Nana and Papa cutting their wedding cake, and a couple of them laying down, cuddling. You can see how much they loved eachother. I sure miss him.

Lucky Me, I've got you, and something NEW!

Although St. Patricks Day was miserable for my daughter, it was quite lucky for me. Scott and I finally broke down and purchased a FAMILY vehicle! No, it's not a mini van, it's a crossover. It's the FORD EDGE. And I love it. It's my MOMMY car. I'm so excited that I actually have a brand new car to drive.

I really appreciate Scott for working so hard, and I know just how LUCKY Annaleese, and I are to have him!

Commitment to Myself

Way before I became pregnant, and while I was planning for my wedding, I did something that made me feel great about my self. I joined weight watchers to help myself lose weight. I had been feeling like I had gained weight, and wasn't quite sure how to go about shedding the weight. I was pretty sure I had the motivation to go along with the plan, and my mom joined with me for support. Well the week after I joined, I had my (first) final dress fitting. And to my horror the dress was too small! So now I had no choice but to loose a few pounds, because I was not about to let Ayda "let my dress out".

I lost the weight I needed to loose to fit into the dress, it was even a bit loose the day of the wedding. And continued loosing weight after the wedding. It was easier then I thought. I was just watching how and what I ate, drinking tons of water and going for a 3 mile walk 5-6 days a week. It was simple no crazy work outs - although that probably would have sped up the process. I lost 25 lbs! I loved how all my clothes were fitting. I loved looking in my closet and not dreading picking out what to wear for the day. Suddenly all the clothes in my closet fit or were loose. And shopping for new attire was a fun outting, instead of a terrible chore.

When I found out I was pregnant I had to stop weight watchers. However, I was still mindful of what I ate, and walked 3 miles 5 days a week for as long as I could stand it. I gained about 40 pounds, and have lost over half of it.

I joined weight watchers again, but really haven't been trying. Yes, I have been more mindful of what I have been eating, but I have not been exercising. And up until last week I had maintained my wieght, but had not lost any.

So Tuesday I made a commitment to my self, that along with being mindful of what I eat, I would start some type of exercise program. Well I started it today , and it kicked my butt, but now a half hour later, I feel REALLY great. I'll let you know how it goes!

*I'm posting this in hopes that it gives me more accountability to my self.*

This Blog is just for me...

Hi All,

If you've found this blog, you'll notice that this one is just for me. There have been many times, I've thought about just blogging about my day, or feelings, but haven't because I want to keep the other blog strictly about Annaleese. So now , with this one I have a place to just be me. I have nothing exciting to blog about today, I just wanted to get this thing up and running.